In 1963, Gayle Caldwell Bonner made history as Spokane’s first Black Lilac Princess. But her story is about far more than a crown or a title. It is a story about family sacrifice, faith, education, Black identity, dignity, and the courage to step into spaces where no one who looked like her had gone before.
In this conversation, Bonner reflects on her parents’ journey from Alabama to Spokane, the role of faith in shaping her life, the challenges of being visible as a young Black woman, and the lessons she hopes future generations will carry forward.
Q: How did the opportunity to become Spokane’s first Black Lilac Princess come about?
Gayle Caldwell Bonner: That’s an interesting question because I’ve asked myself that many times over the years. One of the things that catapulted me into the woman I am today was the fact that my parents were determined to make sure we had a better life than they had. They were raised in Alabama, and I was born in Spokane.
A pivotal moment happened when my sister and I attended an Easter egg hunt at Mount Saint Michael’s. We came home and told our Baptist parents that we wanted to become Catholic. There wasn’t a single Catholic in our family, but they supported us completely. They took us out of public school and enrolled us in Saint Anne’s Catholic School.
That decision changed our lives. The education we received, the encouragement from the nuns, and the opportunities we were given shaped everything that followed. At Marycliff High School, I became class president as a sophomore and again as a senior. I was active in many activities, and people came to know my sister Shirley and me through music, leadership, and community involvement. Looking back, I still don’t completely understand why I was chosen, but years later classmates told me it was because I was kind to everyone. I never realized that at the time.
Q: What was it like growing up Black in Spokane during that era?
Bonner: My parents arrived in Spokane in 1944. They were among the first hundred Black families in the city. There weren’t enough Black families for segregation to exist the way it did in the South. Most of our neighbors were white, and many became close family friends.
As a child, I didn’t experience a great deal of overt racism. I think I was called the N-word only once growing up. The reality is that my parents protected us from much of what they faced. It wasn’t until years later that I learned the full extent of what they shielded us from.
When I became a Lilac Princess candidate, there were threats made against me. My father quietly arranged for a detective to watch over me as I walked to school. I had no idea at the time. He simply told me, “Don’t worry about it, baby. I’ve got somebody watching you.” That was the first time I realized there were people who objected to what I represented.
Q: Your parents seem to have had a tremendous influence on your life.
Bonner: Absolutely. My mother worked at the Spokane Club serving wealthy white families. My father was incredibly talented but had been denied opportunities because of segregation in the South.
When I was invited to the Lilac Princess luncheon at the Ridpath Hotel, my mother taught me everything—from which silverware to use to how to conduct myself at a formal event. But the most meaningful part wasn’t being served. It was watching people serve my mother.
That moment made every stomachache and every ounce of anxiety worthwhile. I knew how proud my parents were. They had come from a place where dignity was denied, and now their daughter was being recognized by the broader community.
Q: You’ve spoken about colorism within the Black community. Why is that conversation important?
Bonner: Because it still exists. My parents taught us that our race is like a bouquet of flowers—you can find every color imaginable within it.
As a young girl, I often heard comments like, “She’s pretty for a dark girl.” People thought they were giving a compliment, but those statements carry a message. One of my art teachers changed my perspective. She pointed out the beauty in my skin and encouraged me to wear brighter colors instead of hiding behind black and brown clothing.
That lesson stayed with me. I learned not only to accept myself but to be seen. We should never be ashamed of who God created us to be.
Q: What role has faith played in your journey?
Bonner: Faith has been everything. The love shown to us by those seminarians and the Catholic community changed the course of my life.
I’ve spent decades studying scripture, theology, and different faith traditions. What I’ve learned is that faith is about community, love, forgiveness, and continually seeking a deeper understanding of God. The older I get, the more questions I have, but that’s part of the journey.
I believe God has blessed me beyond measure. Through every challenge and every triumph, my faith has only grown stronger.
Q: What would you like young people to know today?
Bonner: Life is not a sprint; it’s a journey.
Put down the phones. Look people in the eye. Build relationships. Ask yourself why you’re here. Every person was created for a purpose, and every life has value.
When I wake up in the morning, I look in the mirror and ask, “Why am I still here?” Then I try to walk through the day intentionally, becoming the person I believe God wants me to be.
That’s what I hope young people remember: You matter. Your life has purpose. And you should never be afraid to become exactly who you were created to be.