A few months ago, I was standing in a store with my children when a cashier referred to me as their grandmother.
For a split second, time paused.
My children were visibly offended. My friends later reacted with outrage on my behalf. Even now, some still comment about how disrespectful the interaction was and how the cashier “did me wrong.”
And if I am honest, the comment stung me too, at least for a moment.
That is the part I cannot stop thinking about.
Not the cashier.
My reaction.
Because as a gerontology professional, someone who studies aging, advocates for aging adults, and actively challenges ageism, I had to ask myself an uncomfortable question:
Why did being perceived as older feel offensive in the first place?
The truth is, internalized ageism is subtle. It does not always arrive loudly or cruelly. Sometimes it lives quietly beneath our professional training or our public beliefs about embracing age.
Sometimes it reveals itself in a fleeting emotional response before our rational mind has time to catch up.
That moment in the store forced me to confront the difference between what I consciously believe about aging and what society has unconsciously conditioned many of us to feel about it.
Because if old is not inherently bad, why did the association sting?
To be clear, I understand why some people viewed the interaction as intrusive or inappropriate. Conversations involving women’s age, appearance, bodies, pregnancy, and family roles can carry emotional landmines. But what interested me most was not whether the cashier crossed a universal social boundary.
Break Out Box in shaded Purple:
As conversations about aging, ageism, and the beauty of growing older continue to gain momentum, this December 2024 episode of Aging For All offers a powerful and personal perspective from gerontologist and entrepreneur Regina Foster.
Hosted by Jen Yanez Pryor and Andrea Price, the episode explores Regina’s journey into the field of gerontology, a path shaped by her close relationship with her grandparents and her experiences supporting loved ones living with dementia. Through thoughtful conversation, Regina reflects on how these experiences influenced her commitment to aging advocacy and inspired her work supporting older adults and their families.
Listeners will also hear about the creation of Queen Aged, Regina’s beauty and empowerment brand dedicated to challenging ageist stereotypes and celebrating beauty, confidence, and purpose at every stage of life. The discussion examines the ways society often limits perceptions of aging and offers a refreshing reminder that growing older is not something to fear, but something to embrace.
Throughout the episode, Regina encourages listeners to pursue their passions authentically, honor their lived experiences, and redefine what aging looks like on their own terms.
Listen to Regina Foster’s inspiring conversation on Aging For All at: Sound Cloud or wherever you stream your favorite podcasts.