Q: Kitara, who was Gabriel?
A: “Gabriel was not just my third son, the middle child, he was also my best friend. I have a really close relationship with all of my kids, but Gabriel and I had like partnerships. We would do business and things together. He was the kind of person that if you have a dream, you had to slow him down because your dream would become his dream and he’d build it out.”
Q: How did his struggle with addiction begin?
A: “What started the drug use was trauma. In a moment of pride, he told my sister he wasn’t going to watch my nephew anymore…my sister let a co-worker babysit him. [Someone ended up beating the baby to death]. After that, Gabe just couldn’t go back to school anymore. He had a 4.5 GPA and he started struggling after that. I tried, I used all my strength, but I just couldn’t pull him out. I think I was in a hole too at that moment, and that’s when Gabriel started to spiral. But he kept trying. He just kept coming back.”
Q: What do people misunderstand about fentanyl and addiction?
A: “Fentanyl changes your entire brain makeup and makes you crave that drug. After a while, you’re not getting high anymore. You’re using it to curb the symptoms. You’re hurting in the marrow of your bones. You can’t sleep. You can’t go to the bathroom. People think it’s a choice, but once that choice has been made, your body is now afflicted.”
Q: You’ve spoken about post-acute withdrawal syndrome. Why does that matter?
A: “It takes about a year and a half for your brain to start healing. During that time, people can’t send an email. They can’t think straight. They forget things. They get irritable and cranky and don’t know why. People think they’re not showing up because they don’t care, but mentally they cannot go. And then we punish them for that.”
Q: What did you learn about the treatment system while trying to help Gabriel?
A: “I started learning what the problems were in the healthcare industry when it came to addiction, substance use disorder, co-occurring disorders, and behavioral health. It felt like he was just changing dealers. It’s fee-for-service. It becomes a business. Humans become numbers. And when they kicked him out of treatment, that was it. Shortly after that, he was gone.”
Q: How did Gabriel’s Challenge come to be?
A: “Before he passed away, Gabriel sent me a 66-page plan. It was a community care collaborative. He talked about co-located services, a one-stop shop. He gave me a philanthropy plan, a marketing plan, a strategic plan. The first 20 pages were him convincing me that I could do it and lead it. I’m following his blueprint.”
Q: What is the core mission of Gabriel’s Challenge?
A: “The mission is No Wrong Door. I don’t care where you come in–you should be able to get help. School, court, hospital, community. No judgment. No barriers. And the other part is the third place. Home is your first place. Work or school is your second. Your third place is where the community welcomes you as you are.”
Q: How has grief shaped the way you move through this work?
A: “Grief comes in waves. Some days I’m fine. Some days a song or a smell will take me under. I just feel what I’m feeling in the moment. Somebody told me grief is love with nowhere to go. And gratitude is the remedy for grief. I look at the time I had with my son and the lives being saved now. That’s the purpose.”
Q: What keeps you going?
A: “If fentanyl were a person, it would be a serial killer. We would pursue it with urgency. And the community gives me hope. Lives are being saved. Narcan is available. Stigma is breaking. Gabriel’s life mattered, and this work is proof of that.”
The Gabriel’s Challenge Community Care Kiosk has its grand opening in NorthTown Mall on Dec. 2.