Welcome to “Roots and Wings,” where purposeful parenting is at the heart of our vision. Our parenting style goes beyond simple day-to-day choices; parenting is a deep and meaningful journey that intertwines with the very foundation of our children’s futures. This heritage extends far beyond the present; it reaches into future generations beyond what we can currently see. Parenting is like planting seeds of wisdom, strength, and love that later bloom into enduring virtues that pave the way for future generations. As we walk this path as one people, our goal is not just to be outstanding individuals, but to be excellent parents who promote resilience and compassion in our children.
The age-old saying, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again,” is a powerful reminder that parenting is a constantly evolving practice that requires patience and flexibility. It is a path marked by the lessons we learn from our failures and the approaches that we find successful. In the African-American community, we face distinct challenges, yet we are steadfast in our mission and purpose, ready to face difficulties and learn as one. Let us carefully identify the opportunity to foster a nurturing environment, one that ensures our children are gifted by us, the village, with both roots and wings.
Understanding Parenting Styles
In the rich fabric of African-American life, parenting is more than “Raising Children”; it is the careful, mindful crafting of a great legacy that is rich in strength and resilience, shaping the leaders and thinkers of the next African-American generation. It is about infusing values and cultivating strong spirits that will carry our heritage proudly forward. Our history, experiences, and the unique challenges we face will determine how we parent. To navigate this complex terrain, it is essential to understand the four basic parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved. Each has its own implications for our children’s development and eventual successes or failures. Which category do you fit into? What is your main parenting style, or do you find yourself combining two or more? Reflect on how this may influence your child and their future.
Authoritative parenting is generally viewed as the most balanced and effective. It is a blend of warmth and nurturance with firm boundaries and clear expectations. Within the African American community, this style of parenting is not only the most effective but is extremely beneficial as it promotes open communication and respect within the family unit – this is essential to building resilience in children. Children raised by authoritative parents are more likely to develop high self-esteem, better social skills, and the resilience to overcome challenges successfully. This approach counteracts societal pressures and challenges by building a foundation of support and allowing children to excel.
Authoritarian parents are firm in establishing rules and standards with limited scope for discussion. While this can encourage conformity, it tends to suppress imagination and independence. Within African-American society, some families practice this style, prompted by external pressures and the need to equip their children for a harsh world. However, this often results in adverse consequences, such as resentment and rebellion among the children. This absence of open communication makes the children feel misunderstood and unappreciated, hindering their emotional growth and ability to establish trusting relationships. Children can also develop heightened anxiety and low self-esteem, which makes it difficult for them to deal with life’s complexities on their own.
Permissive parents are less strict, providing children with much freedom and few limitations. Although this style promotes creativity and spontaneity, it also leads to a lack of discipline and responsibility. The lack of structure may cause children to have problems with self regulation, making it difficult for them to navigate situations that demand awareness of social norms and expectations. Consequently, such children may struggle to stay focused and motivated, thus inhibiting their academic and social growth.
Uninvolved parents offer limited guidance and emotional support, significantly impacting a child’s social and emotional growth. Children raised in such environments frequently contend with feelings of abandonment and neglect, resulting in low self-esteem, unsatisfactory academic performance, and challenges in forming healthy relationships. Furthermore, the absence of emotional support can intensify behavioral problems and foster a profound sense of isolation.
Knowing Our Parenting Styles
It is crucial that we take the time to thoroughly reflect on our own parenting style, as it is one of the most significant responsibilities and gifts that we can give to our children. The way in which we parent will undoubtedly have a profound and lasting effect on our children, influencing their development and behavior both today and in the future. As parents, many of us have naturally adopted the parenting styles that were given to us by our own parents, often replicating the methods and approaches that we experienced during our upbringing. This inheritance can be invaluable, as our own upbringing can serve as a wealth of wisdom and a rich source of imperative knowledge that is needed to build a solid foundation for our children. By carefully examining and possibly adapting the lessons and practices passed down to us, we can create a nurturing and supportive environment that fosters growth, learning, and emotional well-being, ensuring that our children are well-equipped to face the challenges of the world.
Matching Parenting Approaches to Goals and Values
As I strive to raise capable, confident and knowledgeable children, I find it essential to ask myself: How was I parented? How did that affect me as a child? What is my parenting style? What effect is that having on my child? Are there things I must change? What are my personal values, and what goals do I have for my children? My parenting style should reflect the goals and values I envision for my child. When it aligns with these principles, it becomes a force that supports my child’s growth, personality, and abilities. However, if my parenting doesn’t harmonize with my long-term aspirations, it can negatively impact my child’s development. By adapting our approach to more closely resemble our ideals, we can establish a culture of care in which our children are set up to thrive both individually and socially. Take the opportunity to develop as a parent. Examine your own parenting style, recognize its effect, and consciously make adjustments that align with the vision you see for your children.
This journey encompasses more than the creation of roots and wings for our children; it demands the growth of our own foundations, the reclaiming of the wings we have lost along the way, and the restoration of the ability to fly. Through active, conscious choice, we shape a tomorrow in which our children can truly thrive with the strength, wisdom, and love we have imparted to them. Let us unite as one, bound together in a shared purpose to build a collective legacy that inspires and empowers the future generation of African-American children and parents everywhere.
“Together, let us cultivate deep roots and give our children the wings to soar. Until next time, nurture with love and lead with intention.” – By Leola Rouse B.A./M.S.