Home …
It’s a place I remember being: home
A place I still call home despite being far away
Being far away from home
Feels like home is a place I only recall in my dreams
I remember being home
Where every day felt real and the same
But it was never boring
I remember home being fun
Despite having to do almost the same things everyday
Home felt normal
Despite changes it still felt like home
Home was my normal
It left safe
When I walked into my home
It would hug me with warmness and peace
It was filled with love
With peace
And joy
Home wasn’t perfect
We cried
We got sick
We failed
But we were home
Where everywhere we went was like open space
Just for us
At Home, we fought
But we never failed to stay friends
Home felt different
Everyday felt different
But the different felt normal
Home was our normal
Far from home
It’s like learning how to walk again
It’s like having eyes
But you can’t see clearly
Being far from home
Feels like missing part of your heart
Part of Yourself
You change
Being far from home changes you
It’s like you’re not fully yourself
Like you’re the same person but different
You wonder if you were to go home if you would…
Still be like you used to be
Do you feel guilty about changing?
The guilty that’s just there
It’s there you can feel
It makes you question yourself
Don’t you think you changed so much?
Why did you change?
Could you have stayed the same?
You feel guilty
“I had no choice”
I am not home anymore”
You explain yourself to guilt
Change is not bad
It was never a bad thing
But this change is huge…
It really is different
From home.
It’s the change that comes unexpectedly
It comes when unwelcome
It comes when one is not ready for it
But it swears it’s not a bad change
It whispers every night. “Change is not bad”
“It’s not. It’s for the better”
This is not a change for the better
A change where I am not expected to know anything
A change where I am being judged for being different
A change where if I do something so simple
It’s something they didn’t think I can do
The change made my voice shut
It got me quite
Really quiet
It is different from home
It isn’t like the home I know
The home I miss